


Pulse.

by WhatTheWentz



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Grief, Jack Feels, Jack-central, M/M, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-02 23:50:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatTheWentz/pseuds/WhatTheWentz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack can't truly survive forever, can he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pulse.

“When do you think the world’s going to end?” Ianto Jones murmured into his boyfriend Jack’s chest as they laid entangled in post-coital bliss. **  
**

Jack arched an eyebrow, “You really want to talk about that after we just had sex?”

“Sex makes me have an existential crisis.” Ianto flatly stated in a murmur dripping with dry sarcasm, “Doesn’t make me want it any less.” he heaved a sigh, turning to lie on his back, staring up at the ceiling, “I’m serious.  Working at Torchwood, we see a lot and sometimes I have to wonder, ‘What’s it all for’?  World’s ending anyway.”

  
Jack gave a small smile, fingers trailing over Ianto’s stomach as he turned to him, “Well, I think the human race has got a few billion years left in them.  Well, I know.”

“One day.” Ianto’s eyes flickered over Jack’s face, “One day, you’re going to tell me everything about you, whether you like it or not, sir.” a smile twitched his lips, and he leaned forward, connecting his to Jack’s for a brief couple of seconds, ending it sooner than either man wanted to ask shakily, “What about me?  My days are numbered on Earth.”

Jack hushed him, “Don’t talk like that.  We’re together, now.  And that’s amazing.  You’re amazing.”

“I’m just the tea boy.” Ianto scoffed.

Jack corrected, “You’re my tea boy.  Get some sleep.  Big day tomorrow.”

“It’s always a bloody big day for us.” Ianto remarked, curling back into Jack’s side, feeling his lips press against his forehead.

His body fell to the thrall of lethargy, eyes closing as he fell quietly asleep in Jack’s arms.  The other man exhaled, trying to not mull over the fact that he would lose this man one day, the man he loved.  It physically ached when he did, a tightening in his chest threatening to spill over into tears as faces of his previous lovers burned into his brain.

Jack wouldn’t cry.  If he did, he would never stop.  So instead, he cradled the warm body close, fingers pressed into Ianto’s wrist to feel his pulse.  He was alive.

–

Months later, and the man he loved was dying in his arms, ragged breaths escaping him as an airborne virus purged it’s way through his system.  He knew this day would come, but not this soon, not like this.

Who was he kidding?

The ones he loved always died like this.  Either horribly young or old and alone.  He was a curse, he realised as the tears burned down his face, his frame physically drained and himself, emotionally and mentally drained.

“I love you.” Ianto croaked, a sob escaping him as he thought of all his wasted years, his wasted opportunities.

He was twenty five years old, he didn’t want to die.  Nobody did that young.  He had hardly had a chance to even live his life, he simply got infected with Torchwood.  But dying in the arms of his second love, that wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Until Jack shook his head, pleading, “Don’t.”  
  


It didn’t mean he didn’t love Ianto because God, he did, he just couldn’t hear those words before losing him.

Ianto didn’t want to die, he was determined to hold on, even when his control was slipping.  He had something to live for.

“Stay with me, please!” the broken voice cracked through his daze, and he looked up, seeing the utter desperation in Jack’s eyes, feeling his hand firmly rested against his face.

Ianto attempted to smile, to comfort Jack, “Hey…” he reassured, “It was good, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jack replied, trying to understand why Ianto was the one who had to comfort him when he was the one losing the most precious thing, his life.

And then Ianto said it.  The one thing that shattered Jack’s heart into pieces.

“Don’t forget me.”

Jack couldn’t help the small smile that twitched his lips.  How could he forget Ianto, the adorable, beautiful tea boy who stole his heart?  It seemed the ridiculous, the very notion of it.

He softly murmured, “Never could.”

“In a thousand years time…” Ianto fought to muster up the strength to finish his sentence, “You won’t remember me.”

And Jack swore, “Yes I will.  I promise, I will.”

Whatever strength Ianto had dissipated as he gasped a few times then went completely limp, eyes closing.

“Ianto.  Ianto?” Jack asked, choking on the grief, “Don’t go… Don’t leave me, please.” in his broken heart, he already knew it was too late, “Please don’t–”

The 456 interrupted, sounding amused and smug, “You will die.  And tomorrow, your people will deliver the children.”

He would murder those bastards, he swore as he looked up at the tank.  They took him.  For the final time, Jack pressed his lips to Ianto’s in a heart-wrenching goodbye before falling beside him, legs tangled.  Before he shut his eyes and allowed death to take over, he let his fingers press over Ianto’s pulse in his wrist, sighing when he felt no beat.

And then there was nothing.

–

Months passed, and Jack didn’t attend the funeral.  It wasn’t that Rhiannon blamed him, it was that he blamed himself.

Years went by, and throughout each and every lover, every fling, he never felt the same as he did Ianto.  His Ianto.

He never forgot, like he promised, and when a terrifying species rid him of his body and forced him to become an inflated head in a jar, he still only thought of Ianto.

He lost the ability of words and could only communicate with telepathy, and still, just talked about that sweet little tea boy as often as he could.

His eyes grew weary with all that he had seen, the civilisations he saw fall, the people he saw die, good people he loved.  When the Earth was destroyed, he mourned in private as the giant head, thinking how Ianto and Gwen and Tosh and Owen, all the people he loved, were gone truly now.  He ran into the Doctor twice, his Doctor as the planet burned up, and the younger one when he was in the cat-run hospital.

Still, he never forgot, and never told him who he was.

He found himself growing lonelier, having only Novice Hame to keep him company, and she hardly understood what love was.  She had lost everyone she loved.

And then the bliss virus hit ‘New Earth’, and it felt like it was happening again.  Only this time he could slightly help.  He shrouded Hame in his smoke for protection, knowing he couldn’t lose her too.

And for the final time, he saw the Doctor and knew what he had to do.  He was thankful that after billions of years, he could finally die.

With his final breath, he delivered a message, knowing what was coming for the Doctor, who was coming.  He said, “You are not alone.”

When his eyes finally shut, he welcomed blissful, peaceful death.

–

“Jack?” a voice murmured.

The Captain groaned, opening his eyes to see bright white walls.  He got to his feet (yay, he had feet again), arm flying over his eyes as everything blinded him.

When his eyes got used to the light, he turned to the figure beside him, gasping when he saw Ianto.

  
“Oh, my God!” he didn’t even question it, just threw his arms around him, sobbing shakily into his shoulder.

Ianto hugged him back, and a loud, Cockney voice remarked, “Well, this is an emotional reunion.”

“Owen?” he turned to see his coworker standing with the others, Gwen and Toshiko, “Oh, God!  Where are we?”

Ianto replied, “I’m not sure, really.  But I’d say it was some sort of parallel dimension where we go when we die.”

  
“It doesn’t matter.” Gwen glared, “You took your bloody time!”

Jack retorted, “I was a big head.”

“Still no excuse.” Tosh took Owen’s hand unconsciously, “But hey, we’re all together.  Old team.”

Ianto rested his face against Jack’s shoulder, laughing, “God, I’ve missed this.”

“Well, looks like we’ve got a new case.” Owen smirked, “Figure out where the hell we are.”

Jack smirked, “Well, let’s get to work then.”

“So, Jack, what was it like being a giant head?” asked Ianto as they began to walk.

“Oh, shut up.” Jack rolled his eyes, taking Ianto’s hand, “Love you.”

Ianto smirked, “Love you too, idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not too proud of this ending but, what did you guys think?


End file.
